Delivery For Diane Lockhart
by richfamous
Summary: Diane Lockhart has lost her glasses. But where are they? Will takes on the responsibilities story-reader and members of Lockhart/Gardner look on in awe. Then Kurt turns up ... see where this is going? My point is that I suck at summaries and love Diane's glasses.


Delivery For Diane Lockhart

She hadn't even noticed she was missing them until Lisa had handed her a brief. She had gotten out of bed, dressed, shared a breakfast with him, said goodbye, driven all the way into town from his house and performed her walk of fame from the front door to her office, all without realising that she had no glasses. It was only when Lisa handed her the brief and she found herself squinting at the blurred black smudges that she began to feel the faintest fluttering of panic.

At first, she reasoned that it could be in her handbag. She rifled through it and found nothing. She hunted over her desk. Still nothing. By the time Will came in with a mug of coffee, Diane had admitted to herself that she was well and truly screwed.

"Someone's looking a little flustered today," said Will with a grin. "Did your hair not quite do what you wanted it to do today?"

Diane hastily straightened her hair, realising that it could indeed do with a proper brushing. "No, it's nothing like that," she said, taking the mug he offered her, "it's just ... could you read this for me?"

Will glanced in confusion at the brief. "Bedtime stories are usually for seven o'clock or later," he pointed out. "And this one doesn't seem to be the sort that would lull you into sweet dreams."

"I'm serious, Will," she said, exasperated. "I can't read it."

"Where are your glasses?" he asked.

"I've ... um ... lost them," she said hastily.

"You're kidding me!" Will exclaimed. "That time we had a fire in the offices and you were asleep on your desk, you still came out without so much as a singed hair."

"No, I really have," said Diane, wishing that he would just read the flipping brief already.

"Well we can't have that," said Will, leaning back in the chair. "Diane Lockhart without glasses ... it's unthinkable. Where were you last night? Maybe we can track them down."

"Ummm." _You really don't want to know._

"Come on, Diane, it's not like you went and had a secret liaison with a gun-toting Republican or anything like that," said Will with a casual grin.

"I really don't know, Will," she said. "I just went to sleep and ... you know what ... I'll think about that later. Just read me the brief!"

"Alright darling," he said with a fatherly air, causing her to shoot him a warning glare. "Want to sit in my lap."

Diane couldn't help it. She flat out burst out laughing, unable to stop herself. If any other man had said that the air would have practically been crackling with sexual undertones, but, as it was, Will managed to say it in such a comical way that she couldn't help it.

Finally she subsided into hiccups. "I've never felt so rejected in my life," said Will, a look of fake despair on his face, hand resting on his heart.

"Well we'd better change that," said Diane with a grin, standing up. "Budge over."

oo0oo

"Alicia."

Alicia looked up at the sound of her name to see Kalinda leaning against the door frame of her office with a grin of pure mirth spread across her face.

"What is it?" Alicia asked, wondering what could have brought out such an expression on Kalinda's face.

"Come and see," her friend said.

Outside Diane's office a small crowd was forming, watching in almost utter silence punctuated only by faint murmurs and hastily hushed giggles. Kalinda elbowed her way to the front where Cary was standing and grinning at the sight through the glass door. Alicia's jaw hit the ground. Literally.

Diane Lockhart, esteemed, regal, flawless, perfect Diane Lockhart with her perfect hair and envy-inducing dresses was sitting in Will Gardner's lap as he read her a story as though it was the most natural thing in the world. It was so casual, Diane's heels taken off, her arm around Will's shoulder's for balance as they talked, laughed and shook their heads over what the brief said. Alicia filed the picture away, partly simply because it made her feel warm and fuzzy inside (she needed that every now and again) and partly because she was so going to tease Will to death about this.

"I still think they used to date," Cary muttered.

"Sssh," whispered Kalinda.

All around them, people were muttering.

"I tell you, all the late night drinks they have - they can't just spend all that time talking!"

"That's disgusting - she's like a hundred or something!"

"How dare you?"

"Yeah, if I look half as good as she does at her age ..."

"How did she get so lucky? She gets the power, the looks, the clothes _and_ the man! I can't even manage one of those!"

"See Diane's masterclass on how to rule the world ..."

"While sitting in Will Gardner's lap."

"Ahem."

A deep voice broke through the whispers and everyone spun around to take in the new visitor. He wasn't a lawyer, that much Alicia was sure of. He was tall, handsome and casually dressed in a chequered shirt and jeans. And, carefully held in his left hand, were Diane's glasses.

"I've got a delivery for Miss Lockhart," he said, looking as though he was holding back a grin.

"She's kind of ... busy," said Lisa, Diane's assistant, blushing as she said it.

"I just have to drop something off."

"Question," said Kalinda, stepping away from Alicia and towards the man, "who are you?"

The man glanced around, as if sizing them all up before saying, "I'm colloquially known as Kurt McVeigh but you lot will probably know me as a gun-toting tea party member."

"I knew Vampire Diaries fanfiction wasn't the worst thing she could do," said Kalinda with a grin.

"What?" Alicia spluttered.

"You heard nothing!" said Kalinda hastily.

"What's her profile name?" Cary asked with a grin.

oo0oo

Of all the things that Kurt expected when he entered Diane's office, it was not to find her in another man's lap with one arm wrapped around his shoulder and her legs laid out on top of his, sharing a brief. If he didn't already know about her almost relationship with Will he would have been greatly offended. As it was he just slouched against the doorway and grinned as Diane leapt out of Will's arms so fast that she pretty much broke the sound barrier.

"Oh, so it's a double rejection," said Will, getting to his feet. Then, seeing Kurt, "Who's ...?" Then he saw Diane's glasses dangling from his fingertips and the tiniest smirk on his face. Turning to face his partner he saw the blush crawling up her neck and to her cheeks as she bit her lip and tugged at her hair in the way she always did when she was embarrassed. "You little minx!" he exclaimed, giving her a pat on the back with such force that she almost doubled over.

"Careful, Mister Gardner," said the man with a widening grin, "I rather like Miss Lockhart in one piece thank you very much. She isn't one of your basketballs."

"You offend me, good sir!" Will exclaimed. "I would never treat a lady of such high class like a piece of sporting equipment! You know quite a bit about me, huh? Strange," - he turned to Diane with a smirk on his face - "I don't remember hearing _anything_ about you."

"Women, eh?" said Kurt with a smile. "When you think you mean something to them."

oo0oo

Diane Lockhart wanted to punch fate in the face so hard. And that was saying something since Diane was not by nature a violent person. At least around most people. Around sane people. Meaning that Kurt didn't fit into that category. Or Will. Or David Lee.

She didn't know which was worse, the fact that half of Lockhart/Gardner was gathered outside her door, that Kurt had found her in Will's lap or that the two were now comparing notes like old friends while she stood in the background, going redder by the second.

"Kurt, could I have my glasses back, please?" she asked. She loved him very much, but at that moment all she wanted was for him to get out of her firm as quickly as was humanly possible. Preferably quicker.

"Did you get that Kalinda?" Will called with another splitting grin. "Kurt! Time to put your skills to good use!"

"On it, sir," came Kalinda's voice, almost drowned out by Alicia's giggles.

 _I swear, as soon as you're gone, cowboy, there is going to be some blood on the carpet!_

"Of course, dear," said Kurt with a grin, purposefully shifted his hand so that her glasses were dangling from his finger's _just_ above her reach.

"Kurt," she grated, "I swear if you think I'm going to jump up to get them, you are going to be severely disappointed."

"Well I don't see how else you're going to get them," said Kurt as Will strangled a chuckle in the background.

 _This is what happens when you let the two men in your life meet. They spark each other's devious tendencies._

And God knew they both had tendencies and to spare.

"I could always give you a very special kick," Diane pointed out, leaning against her table with her hand on her hip, purposefully biting her lip which sent a rather contrary message to her statement.

"Tut, tut, dear," said Will, "this is what comes of having secret liaisons with gun-toting tea party members. It wakes up your aggressive tendencies."

"No kidding," Kurt agreed. "And I have the scratches to prove it."

"I know," said Will, "Cary and I have this theory that her patronus is a cat. You know ... poise, elegance, snooty demeanour," - "Hey!" Diane exclaimed - "isn't that right, Cary?" he called into the hall.

"Don't forget 'The Stare'," came Cary's voice from outside.

"You know," said Alicia, remembering something that Zach had told her, "since we're talking Harry Potter, there was this one loony professor of theirs called Gilderoy Lockhart. He also liked clothes and was a bit of a dandy ... must run in the blood."

"You, young lady, are going to suffer so much," Diane muttered, before realising that her voice carried perfectly down the hall.

"Well," said Kurt, "since you don't seem so eager to pick up your _delivery_ Miss Lockhart, I'll leave you to your ... business with Mister Gardner. Carry on." With a wicked smile her headed for the elevator, twirling Diane's glasses around his finger.

"Well," said Will, "are you going to run after your Prince Charming?"

"I don't think Prince Charming had a moustache and a peculiar attraction to plaid shirts but alright."

oo0oo

Kurt had just entered the elevator, still grinning wider than when he'd tricked his teacher into believing they had a free period in the eighth grade, when Diane slid in beside him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for a kiss. That had not been something Kurt had been expecting, but he wasn't about to complain, snaring his hand in her hair as the other grasped her hip, feeling the silken material of her blouse as she tugged him closer.

But, before he could blink, she had pulled her glasses from his grasp and was moving out of the elevator doors before they could even close, a satisfied grin on her face that went rather well wither smudged lipstick and mussed hair. "See you later, Prince Charming," she said, turning and heading towards her office with a purposefully accentuated swing of her hips.

"I better," Kurt muttered, shaking his head and smiling as the elevator doors closed.

 _God, that woman!_

 **This story comes from the happy part of my mind where all the Good Wife characters are alive, well and friends. Kurt and Diane are not married but seriously dating. Alicia has divorced Peter and is living with Will. Kalinda and Cary are a thing. And everything is perfect and rosy. As you may have guessed, I don't like sad endings. Oh well, hope you enjoyed! :)**


End file.
